Saturday, June 9, 2012

nothing into something

Lest you think this blog has become nothing but a dropbox for songs and trite commentary...

That moment when you are hitting all the buttons on the car radio trying to find a decent song
when the air hits your lungs on an amusement ride before the scream
when you're waiting to hear the next heartbeat


I feel like I'm stuck in that fog right now
that writer cramp of life
I know where I'm coming from and I do have faith in the future
it's just getting to that future part that's...           
the monitor is going up and down
 but I can't hear the beats


Of course I have the realization that I need to move
and I feel like I have been trying
I have interests
but I honestly don't know which ones are important anymore
or which ones I really do and will care about in the future
I want to do nothing
but everything

To the everlasting credit of the world,
I have been bombarded with power messages lately like:
In truth, I do appreciate them
however unrealistic they may now seem

I just want to do something meaningful
and long lasting, 
and life changing 
and creative
and fulfilling

and i guess i'm just not sure what that one "thing" is yet

it's a frustrating place to be

I believe in the frustration is where the truth is to be found

I find solace is this past entry
isn't it funny how we're often played by repetition

a smoky morning
clouds masked the sky
rain patting
small puddles forming
her vision was temporalily clouded
winter had played spring
eager new leaves strewn the ground shaken
the future was muggy
cryptic and closed
like a bud awaiting detection

and this scripture
< 1 Corinthians 13:12 >

I take peace from this idea (courtesy of Diane von Furstenburg)

“I did not know what I wanted to do, but I knew the woman I wanted to be"

here's to putting that base into action soon
<  >

1 comment:

  1. I think failure is often how the Lord gets us to consider something different, like gives us guts to do something we wouldn't have otherwise done. It's not a fun stage, but something will come.