nothing into something

Lest you think this blog has become nothing but a dropbox for songs and trite commentary...

That moment when you are hitting all the buttons on the car radio trying to find a decent song

when the air hits your lungs on an amusement ride before the scream

when you're waiting to hear the next heartbeat

?

I feel like I'm stuck in that fog right now
that writer cramp of life

I know where I'm coming from and I do have faith in the future

it's just getting to that future part that's...           

the monitor is going up and down

 but I can't hear the beats

--^----^^--

Of course I have the realization that I need to move

and I feel like I have been trying

I have interests

but I honestly don't know which ones are important anymore

or which ones I really do and will care about in the future

I want to do nothing

but everything

To the everlasting credit of the world,

I have been bombarded with power messages lately like:

JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!

TAKE THE RISK!!!

In truth, I do appreciate them

however unrealistic they may now seem

I just want to do something meaningful

and long lasting, 

and life changing 

and creative

and fulfilling

and i guess i'm just not sure what that one "thing" is yet

it's a frustrating place to be
 however....

I believe in the frustration is where the truth is to be found


I find solace is this past entry
isn't it funny how we're often played by repetition

a smoky morning

clouds masked the sky

rain patting

small puddles forming

her vision was temporalily clouded

winter had played spring

eager new leaves strewn the ground shaken

the future was muggy

cryptic and closed

like a bud awaiting detection

and this scripture
< 1 Corinthians 13:12 >


finally
I take peace from this idea (courtesy of Diane von Furstenburg)

“I did not know what I wanted to do, but I knew the woman I wanted to be"

here's to putting that base into action soon
<  >

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